Trophies
Vigilante Cup
To be awarded to the winner of the Championship game, commemorating an unmatched level of football insight, grit, and wisdom. Touche, sir. Your team may now revel in victory. For full list of winners see Hall of Champions.
Marv Levy Cup
To be awarded to the runner-up of the Championship game, commemorating a valiant effort and a quality 2nd place finish. Coach Levy would be proud.
2018 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano)
2017 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano)
2016 - F.C. DITKA (Nick Visano)
2015 - Vermin Supreme (Dan Kegler)
2014 - The Sausage Bandits (Jon Pearson)
2013 - The Benperors (Ben Kozak)
2012 - For Whom The Bell Sproles (Jeff Kegler)
2011 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano)
2010 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack)
2009 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler)
2008 - Team the Floaters (Jon Pearson)
President's Trophy
To be awarded annually to the Regular Season champion, by way of best overall record. A nod to our hockey counterparts, the President's Trophy is a great honor, but also comes with the great burden of expectations for the Playoffs.
* also won Vice President’s Trophy
2018 - John Stamos Cuddle Time (Bob Schmidt) - 10-4 (2nd in pts)
2017 - The Sausage Bandits (Jon Pearson) - 11-3 (2nd in pts)
2016 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 10-4 (4th in pts)
2015 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 12-2 (2nd in pts)
2014 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 11-3*
2013 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 11-3*
2012 - Team Snickerdoodle (Tim Ryan) - 9-5 (T-1st) (2nd in pts)
2011 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano) - 10-4*
2010 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 11-3 (2nd in pts)
2009 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 12-2*
2008 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 10-4*
Vice President's Trophy
To be awarded annually to the Regular Season leader in total points scored. Wins and losses are what count, but this is the most accurate measure of a great team.
* also won President’s Trophy
2018 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 3182.5 pts
2017 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 2959.1 pts
2016 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 2925.5 pts
2015 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 2953.8 pts
2014 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 3045.5 pts*
2013 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 2846 pts*
2012 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 2780 pts
2011 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano) - 2830 pts*
2010 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 2739.5 pts
2009 - The Ass Pirates (Jeff Kegler) - 2882.5 pts*
2008 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano) - 2531.5 pts*
GM of the Year Award
To be awarded annually to the owner(s) who displayed savvy leadership, knowledge, and wisdom. This is by way of skilled drafting, efficienct roster management, and calculated waiver wire moves and trades.
2018 - Hurricane Ditka (Nick Visano)
The Cutler
To be given annually to the last-place finisher in the Regular Season. The Cutler brings much shame and disgrace to whomever may possess it.
2018 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 3-11, 2633.9 pts (8th)
2017 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 4-10 (T-6th), 2275.8 pts (8th)
2016 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 1-13, 2229.8 pts (8th)
2015 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 3-11, 2263.2 pts (8th)
2014 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 1-13, 2156 pts (8th)
2013 - The Turd Fergusons (Andy Visano) - 5-9, 2643.5 pts (3rd)
2012 - The Benperors (Ben Kozak) - 4-10, 2184 pts (8th)
2011 - Thunderpussy (Kris Mack) - 4-10, 2232 pts (8th)
2010 - Team Snickerdoodle (Tim Ryan) - 5-9 (T-7th), 2071 pts (8th)
2009 - Vermin Supreme (Dan Kegler) - 2-12, 2180.5 pts (8th)
2008 - The Auto-picks (AJ Olivieri) - 4-10, 1933.5 pts (8th)
Miscellaneous Trophies:
Don Beebe Medal of Freedom
To be awarded liberally to the team(s) that fully embody all that legendary WR Don Beebe stood for.
Bruce Smith/Rob Ray Enforcer Award
To be awarded liberally to the team(s)/owner(s) that most excel in jeering, brooding, antagonizing, fighting, and otherwise disorderly and entertaining shenanigans. We applaud your efforts.
Romo's Homos
To be awarded liberally to the team/owner that is just out of control. For terrible performances on and off the field, ridiculous trades and other gaffes, and an overall stench of failure. Boo you sir.
Weekly Trophies:
Mike Ditka Trophy
To be awarded weekly to the team that has the greatest performance, by means of total points, victory, and coaching moxy.
Frank Reich Trophy
To be awarded weekly to the team with the greatest clutch, underdog, or come-from-behind effort.
Scott Norwood's Revenge
To be awarded weekly to the team with the worst performance, trade, or otherwise pitiful effort.
All-Time Weekly Trophy Leaders
(Statistics include 2008-2018)
Defunct teams in ITALICS
DITKA TROPHIES: 31 The Ass Pirates (2008-)
29 Hurricane Ditka (2008-)
25 The Sausage Bandits (2008-)
19 The Turd Fergusons (2008-)
11 John Stamos Cuddle Time (2008, 2015-)
11 Team Snickerdoodle (2009-12)
10 Vermin Supreme (2008-)
7 Auschwitz Zyclon Beezers (2016-)
4 The Wiener Barons (2013-14)
3 The Benperors (2009-15)
3 Thunderpussy (2010-)
2 The Porch Monkeys (2008-10)
0 The Auto-picks (2008)
REICH TROPHIES: 26 The Turd Fergusons (2008-)
23 Hurricane Ditka (2008-)
22 The Sausage Bandits (2008-)
20 Vermin Supreme (2008-)
17 The Ass Pirates (2008-)
16 The Benperors (2009-15)
13 Thunderpussy (2010-)
6 Auschwitz Zyclon Beezers (2016-)
5 John Stamos Cuddle Time (2008, 2015-)
4 Team Snickerdoodle (2009-12)
4 The Porch Monkeys (2008-10)
3 The Wiener Barons (2013-14)
1 The Auto-picks (2008)
NORWOOD'S REVENGES: 35 Thunderpussy (2010-)
27 Vermin Supreme (2008-)
18 The Benperors (2009-15)
18 The Sausage Bandits (2008-)
12 The Turd Fergusons (2008-)
10 The Ass Pirates (2008-)
8 Team Snickerdoodle (2009-12)
8 Auschwitz Zyclon Beezers (2016-)
6 John Stamos Cuddle Time (2008, 2015-)
4 The Auto-picks (2008)
4 The Porch Monkeys (2008-10)
3 The Wiener Barons (2013-14)
2 Hurricane Ditka (2008-)
"Football doesn't build character, it reveals it."
-Marv Levy